Never mind the Darkness…

Today’s Workout: 11 Miles total with 2.5 miles @ goal marathon pace (6:26) and 2.5 miles at goal half marathon pace (6:05). I had no intention of running the workout this way. The plan was to run 5 miles at goal marathon pace but my daughter and her best friend came in asking for things. I can never say no. They are too cute. So I tried to make up for the break by pushing the second interval.

Tuesday evening I am looking forward to running the New Balance 1 mile Random Relay Recap to come!

I am going to keep this post pretty short because I told myself nothing would be more pathetic than crying alone at my imac on a Monday night. No offense to anyone who cries in front of their imacs πŸ˜‰

Last Tuesday, on her birthday, my “Gram” passed away. Any of my readers who know me are aware that she raised me from the time I was 2 years old until I left for college at 17. She and I lived together alone for 8 of those years. I chose her to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day and she selflessly took time to help me raise each of my babies when my husband would deploy. I absolutely adore that woman and her passing shook me to the core. Needless to say my mileage last week took a huge hit. Running was one of the last things I wanted to do. Usually I find it therapeutic and fun but with this heart break it felt difficult and forced. Every mile run in my hometown was met with another memory of her and I’d have to force back the tears. Here was the last picture taken of her and I:

A good friend reminded me that my Gram was one of the first people to support my running hobby and she would tell me to quit my crying and get back to training. She would come to every cross country meet she could and make sure I had a bottle of Gatorade and a bag of Doritos…still my combo of champions πŸ˜‰ After college the first time I won prize money I was a teeny bit excited and when she found out it was $150 she teased me and said “Don’t quit your day job!” She was a firecracker. I miss her, her voice, her teasing me, everything about her. She was an angel to me and I was truly blessed to have her in my life.

Thank you to those who’ve sent me messages, emails, cards, etc. I appreciate it more than you know!

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29 thoughts on “Never mind the Darkness…

  1. So sorry about your Gram passing away, but she looks like such a sweet lady and very supportive :). I know you’ll think about her when you eat your doritos and drink your gatorade. But yeah, I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to run very much with all of that going on, and it’s probably okay to take a day or two off for that even if she would want you to get back to training. Good job with your 11!

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  2. My deepest sympathies to you on your loss. Losing a family member is debilitating and I hope the strength and support you have from your family and friends is comforting for you during this difficult time.

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. It seems like you two were more than close and that relationship is really inspiring. hang in there and make sure to reach out for supports in this time. Thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way!

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  4. So sorry about your loss Kris. It’s seems that you can carry on the legacy of your Gram through your running as it appears that she was one of your number 1 supporters. Hope your wounds and emotions heal soon and may the good memories carry you through. Sending you HUGE HUGS from Florida and a little sunshine too to brighten the day. πŸ™‚

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  5. So sorry about your loss! When you’re back into running I am sure you will feel her energy around you and it will inspire you that much more. Lots of thoughts & prayers during this time for you.

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  6. Oh my. So sorry for your loss. You’re in my thoughts as you go through the grieving process. And she does sound like a firecracker. I’m thinking you should pay her a tribute by peppering your blog with some of her one liners over the next few weeks πŸ™‚ I’d love to hear them!

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  7. Your Gram sounds like an incredible, supportive, lovable woman. A loss like that is never easy. I send you my thoughts and love, and I think if running makes you think of her than running will be more fun than ever! She lives on in your memories…

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  8. aw Kris, I am so sorry to hear about your Gram. My Yan (grandma) lived with us growing up from age 5. When she passed 8 years ago it was very difficult for me. Like losing a parent as both my parents worked and she was our nanny. Those relationships are so special. She sounds like a true blessing to you and your family. My thoughts are with you.

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  9. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about your Gram. She sounds like an absolute treasure and I bet you both felt blessed to have one another. It’s never easy — hope you’re doing okay.

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  10. Kris, I am truly sorry to hear about the passing of your Gram. Losing someone that was such a huge part of your life must be devastating. She sounds like a treasure and a blessing! It’s wonderful that she was so supportive of your running. She’ll be with you every step of the way to your Olympic Trials goal. I’ll definitely keep you in my thoughts and I hope that your friends & family, (and HRR) are surrounding you with love.

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  11. My sincere condolences on the loss of your grandma. My husband lost his grandfather, who raised him, in February. It is hard for folks to understand how important grandparents can be. Your grandma sounds like an amazing woman!

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  12. Oh Kris! I am so very sorry for your loss. I can sense how difficult this is for you. She sounds like she was amazing lady. May she rest in peace and her angel wings surround you with her love and protection. I am so so sorry. She is still with you, look for her on your runs, she will be there in those quiet moments via a bird, butterfly, cloud, only you will know that it is her… she is one with all that surrounds you. My deepest condolences to you and all those who were blessed to have been touched by her spirit.

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  13. Sorry to hear about your loss, but she sounded like a strong lady. Great pic. She’d definitely be proud of you and I bet is looking over you now.

    I have my first interval run as I train for a race this fall and your pace has lit a big fire under me to stick to my goal pace! Thank you!

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  14. So so sorry for your loss Kris. She sounds like a wonderful woman. I’m sure that she’s proud of everything you’ve done, as well as everything the future holds for you.

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